Happy Holidays from the Doe Family!

A generic holiday newsletter from the Everyfamily, USA

A little more honest than most, though.

Dear Friends, Relatives, and People we haven't seen or spoken to in years yet continue to send these yearly letters to in a vain attempt to "keep in contact",

Seasons greetings and happy holidays! We hope this letter finds you all well and healthy. 2000 was an exciting and eventful year for the Doe family, and we look forward to the coming year being the best yet!

John continues to thrive at his job with The Business. He moved from a medium-sized cubicle to a large-sized cubicle, this one closer to the water cooler and with fabric walls so he can hang up stuff with velcro! By August, he hopes to get to move into an office with a door and window, so keep your fingers crossed. His promotion from Administrative Specialist II to Admin. Spec. III meant a wage increase that was much needed, even though it wasn't even enough to keep up with the cost of living increase. In his free time, John continues to watch sports, read the newspaper, nurse a Scotch and Soda, and sometimes--if he's not too worn out from work--entertain John Jr.

John Jr. is doing much better in school this year. Thank the Lord for Ritalin! At seven years of age, he's the spitting image of his father, and he loves to play catch with John Sr. in the front yard. He's decided he wants to be a Pokemon or a Wrestler when he grows up, bless his little heart! He enjoyed T-ball in the Spring and Summer, and there was only one biting incident (and John Sr. stayed out of all but one of the fights the parents got into over the season, too). He vasilates between doting on his little sister and punching her when I'm not looking. Boys!

Emily turned three in August and is my little angel. I just wish I got to see her more than weekends and a few hours on weeknights. But there are always bills to pay, and I enjoy my job with the City, so she spends the day at day-care. And I can't complain about her daycare (except maybe the price...ha ha). Emily surprises us with new words almost every day and is beginning to try to form sentences. She tries to copy everything John Jr. does.

I continue to work as an Assistant Finance Operator with the city. It's good, because they're flexible, so I skip lunch and leave at 4:00, which means I can pick up John Jr. from his after-school club and get Emily by 5:00. The job really isn't what I'd like to be doing, but that's life. I still miss playing the Cello, but my psychologist and John helped me understand that I have to prioritze, and the Paxil the Doctor prescribed keeps me from dwelling on the foolish dreams and desires that used to keep me awake at night.

All that said, things are about to get much happier around here! As well as the medication the doctor prescribed, John and I decided having a baby would help me feel "whole" again. We really can't afford another one, and I'll have to go back to work immediately to pay for it all, but the baby-sitter raised our first two, and they've turned out okay, so why not one more. Plus, Emily could use a little brother or sister to love on. John Jr.'s been asking for a puppy recently, too, so this will be a good substitute. Afterall, taking care of a puppy is hard work and a lot of responsibility. So, next Christmas we'll be a family of five! Praise the Lord!

With love,
John, Jane, John Jr., and Emily Doe.

Hylo's note: Well, that was a little more subtle than some of my writings...hopefully the point is still evident. In all the rush, don't forget the TRUE spirit and meaning of Xmas: STICKING it to the consumer with higher prices and shoddier goods! Merry Christmas, Happy Channuka, Allah Akba Ramadan, Lovely Kwanza, Peaceful Solstice, Cheerful Gitavahd-Rashti, and joyful whatever-other-celebrations you may be enjoying.

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