Brachiator Archives

Sports, Television, and Entertainment

Jeff City to "Let the Dogs Out"

Public Enthusiastic About New Annual Event

June 1, 2001, Jefferson City, Missouri: The City is ready to unleash it’s new event, inspired by the time-honored, world-famous "Running of the Bulls" in Pamplona, Spain. The first annual Running of the Pit-Bulls will be held in downtown Jefferson City on Thursday the 7th of June. Set to begin at 5:00pm and culminate in a dash up Broadway, the sure-to-be-thrilling race will herald the beginning of the Downtown Association’s Twilight Festivals. Read More...

Parks and Recreation to Launch “Parent-Brawling”

Opinions Split on New Adult League

Scranton, Ohio. February 6, 2001. The Parks and Recreation Department of Scranton Ohio is drawing cheers, jeers, and raised eyebrows with its new adult “sports” league, “Parent-Brawling”. Jerry Meier confirmed to reporters Thursday that the City had decided to host the new sporting event, which it began advertising in its Special Winter Activities Brochure (SWAB) in January. Read more...

Chat-room Junkie Exiled by "Friends" After Startling Confession

On-line Peers Show no Forgiveness

March 9, 2001, Memphis, Tennessee: Marvin Entriken was distraught to find out at 3:00 am this morning that he had been shunned from his favorite chat-room after a heartfelt confession to one of the other members. Entriken, speaking from the "apartment" he rents in his grandmother’s basement, reported that the incident "totally sucked". Read more...

ESPN Defends New Trash-Talk Segment

"You Can't Fade Me!" Says Host

Philadelphia. January 25, 2001: Representatives for ESPN held a press conference today to respond to criticism of the all-sports network's new show, "Trash-Talk Time". The show, which aired its first regular, half-hour segment on January 6th, was started after a one-hour piece on the network's "Year in Review" show that aired several times before the new year. It is a highlight-based show that focuses on the new "art" of "trash-talking" that's taken on a life of its own in modern sports. Read more...

Creator of Segue Honored With Lifetime Achievement Award

Beloved Broadcaster Graciously Accepts

May 18, 2001, New York City: In an otherwise slow and predictable ceremony, retired television news broadcaster and journalistic icon Rex Rohrman moved the audience to laughter and cheers last night during the twelfth annual Federation of Area News Broadcasters Awards show. Rohrman, who worked at seven different television stations over a twenty-seven-year career, received the Lifetime Achievement Award for pioneering the art of the segue. Read more...

All-Children TV Network Unveiled by Viacom

CTN Marks New Level of Trite Child Exploitation

Hollywood, California. January 2001:Building upon a recent trend in the entertainment and advertising industries, Viacom unveiled plans for its new Children Television Network, which it hopes to have on the air by next fall. The network, Viacom spokesman Wesley Van Pelt told reporters yesterday, will not necessarily cater TO children, but rather all on-air personalities, be they news anchors or sit-com cast members, will BE children. Read more...

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