Where Were You When the World Stopped Learnin'


(If you're not familiar with the original song this one is spoofing, scroll down and you can read its lyrics below.)

Where were you when the world stopped learning,
On that September day?
Were you drinking a beer, kicking your dog,
Or beating up someone who was gay?
Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smoke
Risin' against that blue sky
Did you shout out in anger at ragheads everywhere
And scream "all damn foreigners must die!"

Did you burst out with pride for the red, white, and blue
And the heroes who died just doin' what they do?
Did you grab up your gun and look for someone
You could kill for not looking like you.
Did you look up to Heaven for some kind of answer
Or flick on your TV and cheer
When you heard Jerry Falwell say it would be all well
If we just got rid of liberals and queers.

(Chorus)
I'm just a singer of maudlin songs
I'm not much more than a sap.
I watch TNN, but I sure couldnít
Pick out Mexico on a map.
No I donít know much about the real world,
Cause my whole lifeís based on lies
And I was brainwashed from the day I was born
To die for country and Christ.

Where were you when the world stopped learning
On those New York streets?
Were you working a job you totally hated
Just to pay bills and have something to eat?
Did you feel guilty 'cause you're a survivor
Or did you wonder how you could make a profit
Did you rush out to fill up your truck with gas
Before oil prices could skyrocket?

Did you close your eyes, wish it never happened
Clench your fists and breath deep?
Did you drape a flag from your house
Or put one on your gas-guzzling Jeep?
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow
Stroking and fondling your gun
Did you think of that violent old movie you love
And think "if anyone can save us, Ramboís the one"?
Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers
And talk about how much you hated Islam
Or did you just watch TV and wait for the news
To say who we were gonna bomb

(Repeat Chorus once)
Yes, I'm just a singer of cheesy songs,
and I'm proud to be an American,
I'll rail about Islamic extremists all day
While walkin' tall with Bible in hand.
Yes, I'm proud to be an American.
Proud to be an American.

If you're lucky enough not to have heard the insipid song by Alan Jackson which my song is spoofing, here are the lyrics so you can compare:
Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning, by Alan Jackson.

Where were you when the world stopped turnin'
that September day?
Out in the yard with your wife and children;
Or working on some stage in L.A.?
Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smoke
Rising against that blue sky?
Did you shout out in anger in fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry?

Did you weep for the children
that lost their dear loved ones?
Did you pray for the ones who don't know?
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
and sob for the ones left below?
Did you burst out in pride for the red white and blue
And the heroes who died just doin' what they do?
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer?
And look at yourself for what really matters?

(Chorus)
I'm just a singer of simple songs;
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN, but I'm not sure
I can tell you the difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, Hope and Love are some good things He gave us
And the greatest is Love.

Where were you when the world stopped turning
That September day?
Teaching a class full of innocent children;
Driving down some cold interstate?
Did you feel guilty 'cause you're a survivor
in a crowded room did you feel alone?
Did you call up your mother and tell her you love her?
Did you dust off that bible at home?

Did you open your eyes hope it never happened;
And close your eyes and not go to sleep?
Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages;
Or speak to some stranger on the street?
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow;
Go out and buy you a gun?
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watchin'
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns?

Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers?
Stand in line and give your own blood?
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love?

(Repeat Chorus Twice)
And the greatest is Love.
And the greatest is Love.


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