Post-Election Depression and Survivor's Guilt
Feeling a little guilty about having made it out of the US and being able to live in a country where I actually HAVE the freedoms Americans are only TOLD about is nothing new. I've often felt like I had to lie about my life here, or withhold information, when I hear from an old coworker about their 50-hour-a-week work misery, or hear about how someone had to sell their car to pay for some medical care. But now, after the election, it's much worse. My email box is full of messages saying something like "You're so lucky to not be here" and "Aren't you glad you don't have to worry about it."

The problem is, I do still have to worry about it. For one thing, all my family and friends are still in the US, so I have to worry about them...about my niece growing up under a system where children receive NO sex education and where she has no access to birth control, for example. And secondly, it's the concern of the WHOLE world, since Bush is stirring up terrorists everywhere and putting us ALL at risk.

Here are a few emails I received.

What a bummer. I am really depressed. If [his other son, my brother, his daughter-in-law, and his niece] did not live here, I would move to Prague. I really thought Kerry could pull out Ohio based on the most recent polls. It is interesting that Florida and Ohio were 2 states that heavily used touch screen voting that leaves no paper trail. The computer could be programmed to give every 4th or 5th Kerry vote to Bush and no one would know that. These were the 2 states where the exit polls were inaccurate compared to the actual votes - ie - they indicated that Kerry would do well. I guess we will never know if there was cheating. It is a shame that the lines in Democratic precincts in Ohio were so long - I'm sure some folks gave up and left without voting. The Today show interviewed a college student who waited in line 9 hours to vote. Anyway - with Bush as president and republicans with larger majorities in Congress we will be assaulted by right wing stupidity and ideology. I remember how miserable I felt when Nixon won in 1968 (first time I voted) and Reagan won in !980, but I think I feel much worse now. Dad

And now I seem to remember a quote from the President of Diebold Company, who makes the electronic voting machines, where he said sometime early this year that he would do "whatever possible" to insure a Bush victory. Sheeesh...I can't even THINK about that now.

Here's a letter from a friend who's also a devout Christian...the only person I know who actually waited until she was married to have sex (well, okay, so her husband did too...but I don't really know him).

Well, here it is the day after. I'm so depressed. You have the right idea not to be here period. It just makes me sick to think about 4 more years of him. I didn't sleep much at all last night for thinking and hoping that I would be pleasantly surprised this morning. It was like the total opposite of the anticipation of Christmas morning.

I think I'm in disbelief you know? I just really didn't think that there were that many stupid, gullible people in this country who can just turn their heads and pretend not to see what he's done.

Oh well, I just thought I'd comiserate with you. But hey, look on the bright side, you don't have to live here!

When I wrote her back and said, "It's not too late, you could move to France [a country she loves and has visited several times, once with her older daughter, 9]." She wrote back and said:

Funny, you should mention that... [her older daughter] asked me last night, if Bush wins can we move to France? Then this morning when she found out, she told me we should start packing out bags.

I know I'm just so depressed, I really feel like this country is going backwards, there is so much hate and closed mindedness.

And one more letter from a friend in California:
Well All! I am sad to say this country has succeeded
again in shamefully disappointing me. I can't believe
how absolutely ignorant the people of this country
are. Again, the American people have proven that
hatred, murder, poverty, and rape of the environment
are great American values! They clearly don't mind
being blatantly lied to and controlled. I hope to
find somewhere else in this world to call home some
day. Unfortunately, I have 4 years of vet school
left, but will certainly be looking at Canada, France,
and Australia as places to find work. If anyone has
any single, male friends who would marry me to get me
out of this country easier, then please forward my
email address, because I will do anything!!!

Love and absolute disgust,
me

My heart breaks for these people...especially my father, who's dedicated decades of his life to fighting for various social causes...marching for civil rights in the 60s and protesting the draft and the war in Vietnam...fighting for women's rights for more than 30 years, including being a primary plantiff in the Supreme Court Case Webster versus Reproductive Health Services. Now he can do nothing but watch as it's all erased and his granddaugther is left living in a christian version of Iran or Saudi Arabia.